Why I Wrote Defying Disability

Some people have the privilege of living close to their relatives while growing up. I did not. When I was a teenager, visiting my uncle Bert and aunt Darlene Cherry meant a road trip from Vandalia, Illinois, to Dallas, Texas, usually with a stop at Granddad’s in Shawnee, Oklahoma, along the way.

It also meant navigating a one-story house with two people who used wheelchairs. Uncle Bert and Aunt Darlene relied on wheelchairs, yet their house was a home of joy and love. After that long car ride, I enjoyed finding Uncle Bert relaxing in his chair and Aunt Darlene preparing something wonderful for dinner.

“Come hug my neck!” That was their greeting. Warm hugs. Huge smiles. Hearty laughs. Southern accents.

Sometimes I’d sit in Aunt Darlene’s chair when she was relaxing on the sofa. Other times, we arrived as parents were picking up their children from her in-home daycare service. The meals were delicious and the desserts, including Aunt Darlene’s special cakes, bordered on decadent.

When we went to church with them, Aunt Darlene drove their car that featured handbrakes. Uncle Bert pushed her wheelchair as they made their way into the church. He sat in the pew with her wheelchair parked in the aisle.

I knew from an early age that polio had paralyzed them both when they were teenagers, and they met at a rehabilitation center where they fell in love. What I didn’t instinctively know was how unique their relationship was—two individuals with disabilities who chose to marry, have children, and live full lives despite their challenges.

Wait, not everyone has an aunt and uncle who use wheelchairs?

As an adult in Florida, I realized their story was unique and deserved to be told. In 2001, when the family gathered to remember Granddad—Uncle Bert’s and my mom’s dad—I talked with my uncle and aunt about their incredible story. We discussed the possibility of my compiling their memories into a book. They were open to the idea, but we all returned to our busy lives: theirs in Texas and mine in Florida.

Almost two decades later—after they both had passed on—I suddenly found myself with the gift of time when my employer furloughed me during the COVID-19 pandemic. I found it more than a little ironic that I was writing about one epidemic while living through a pandemic.

This was my chance!

Aunt Darlene died on March 16, 2020. Her granddaughter Shaira posted on Facebook, “To adequately describe her life would require a published biography. She was an iron woman. She loved us fiercely. Her faith in God, unwavering.”

Challenge accepted.

Writing Defying Disability became my way of honoring the legacy of love, faith, and resilience they lived every single day. In future posts, I’ll share more about how I wove the book together—the original edition, the new second edition, and the unexpected journey in between—as well as other stories of reflection and inspiration.